Before you start a log: two safety cautions
First: a log can be discoverable. SPARC’s own instructions warn against writing anything you wouldn’t want the stalker to eventually see — logs can become evidence and can occasionally be shared with the other side.
Second: store the log and any saved evidence somewhere the other person can’t reach — a password-protected note, an unknown cloud account, or a trusted friend’s device — and log from a device they’ve never used around them if you can. If you suspect active stalkerware on your own phone, read safety first first.
Start with a log, not a folder of screenshots
A scattered pile of screenshots is hard for you, an advocate, or a police officer to use later. SPARC — a Department of Justice-funded project — recommends a dated, chronological log as its strongest documentation practice, and publishes a free Stalking Incident and Behavior Log for exactly this. For each incident, it asks for date and time, a plain description of what happened, the location (physical place, or the technology and platform involved), witnesses, evidence attached, and — if reported — the officer’s name, agency, and report or badge number.
TechSafety.org — the Safety Net project of the National Network to End Domestic Violence, titled “Documentation Tips for Survivors of Technology Abuse” — recommends logging every incident even before you decide whether to involve police or courts. A thin log is harder to rebuild from memory later.
Save evidence the way that survives court
Don’t delete anything, even if it’s upsetting to see. Threatening messages, unwanted gifts, and voicemails often show a pattern a single incident can’t — often what turns “annoying” into a chargeable crime.
- Screenshot or export, don’t just read and dismiss. Save texts, DMs, and social posts as they happen. For emails, don’t just forward — TechSafety.org notes forwarding strips header information that can help identify the sender. Save or print the original with headers intact.
- Photograph the screen with a second device when an app might notify the sender. Snapchat’s support page confirms it shows an icon when a Snap or Chat has been screenshotted. A separate phone or camera avoids that risk — also useful for suspected stalkerware, per safety first.
- Keep the device itself, don’t wipe it, if it might matter to police. Deleting a suspicious app or resetting a phone can destroy the exact evidence an examiner needs.
- Ask about a forensic image. TechSafety.org’s guidance for advocates notes direct proof of spyware sometimes requires a forensic professional, and recommends protecting a device’s data early since you may not yet know what will matter.
- Get police to see it live when you can. Editable content — a social post, a shared document — is stronger evidence if an officer views it directly on your device, not just as a screenshot, per SPARC’s prosecutor guidance.
- Rule out mundane explanations first. If you’re building a case around “they know too much,” check shared calendars and social media before assuming monitoring software is involved — it helps an officer or advocate take the pattern seriously.
Involving police: what to expect
Call 911 if you are in immediate danger. Otherwise, contact your local police department to report stalking and stalking-related incidents or threats, per DOJ’s Office on Violence Against Women.
Officer familiarity with stalking law — especially tech-facilitated stalking — varies a lot by department. DOJ’s guidance for law enforcement notes a single incident often isn’t enough to charge stalking, since most statutes require a pattern of conduct — exactly why the log matters. If an officer can’t act on one report, ask what would help build the pattern, get the report number, and keep logging.
Bring your log and evidence organized by date, not as a loose pile. Get the officer’s name and badge or report number every time and note it in your log, and ask that new incidents be linked to your existing case rather than treated as one-offs. If the case may go to prosecution, ask about a preservation letter to a platform or carrier — per SPARC’s prosecutor guidance, this is sent by law enforcement, not requestable by you, and keeps content from being deleted before a warrant issues.
Protective orders and how tech evidence fits
A civil protective (or restraining) order can prohibit contact, including through apps, texts, and social media. SPARC’s guidance on protective orders recommends order language explicitly cover monitoring, tracking, and indirect contact through third parties or social media, not just direct contact. It notes violating an order will often independently meet a state’s legal definition of stalking, since most statutes require two or more acts and many treat a violation as aggravating.
Your documentation log becomes the backbone of a protective-order petition: dates, what happened, evidence attached. If the other person later contacts you through a new account, a spoofed number, or a mutual friend, log it the same way — orders should explicitly cover indirect contact, though enforcement varies by jurisdiction.
Advocates: you don’t have to figure this out alone
You don’t need to have decided about police or courts before contacting an advocate. Their job is to help you weigh options, not push you toward any one path.
- The National Domestic Violence Hotline — call 1-800-799-7233, text “START” to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org, for support with relationship abuse.
- VictimConnect Resource Center — call or text 1-855-4VICTIM (855-484-2846), or chat online, for help understanding victims’ rights and finding local resources for any crime, including stalking that doesn’t involve a partner.
- SPARC — publishes the log template above plus a short victim handbook, and can connect you to a local advocate through your state coalition.
- Coalition Against Stalkerware — anti-domestic-violence organizations and security companies focused on stalkerware; its resources page lists country-specific helplines and technical help.
- TechSafety.org’s documentation tips — a plain-language guide to documenting technology-facilitated abuse, including screenshots, screen recordings, and email headers.
A local victim advocate, often based at a domestic violence shelter or rape crisis center and reachable through the numbers above, can help even when stalking doesn’t involve a partner, and can go with you to file a report or petition for an order.
None of this requires removing anything from your phone first. If you suspect active monitoring, read safety first before touching the device — logging and reaching out for help are both safe meanwhile, ideally from a device the other person has never had access to.