Before you touch a single setting
Removing access can tip someone off. Some changes may notify the other person, and someone monitoring you may notice the silence even without one. If they could react badly, read Safety first first.
Otherwise, Apple built a tool for exactly this: Safety Check, the fastest way to see — and stop — who has access to your iPhone.
What Safety Check actually does
Safety Check is built into Settings on any iPhone running iOS 16 or later. It lets you review who can see your information, including your location, and cut off access in one place instead of hunting through a dozen menus (Apple Support). You need an Apple Account with two-factor authentication on. Find it at Settings → Privacy & Security → Safety Check — two tools live inside, and picking the right one matters.
Emergency Reset. This immediately stops sharing everything — location, shared photos, calendars, notes, passwords — with every person and app, resets system permissions, and lets you review devices and change your passcode or Apple Account password, all at once (Apple Support). It’s the “cut it all off now” option — a total blackout the other side can easily notice.
Manage Sharing & Access. The slower, more precise option. It walks you through each category — location sharing, app permissions, connected devices — and lets you review and revoke one at a time (Apple Support). Use this if you need to keep sharing with some people but not others.
Every screen has a Quick Exit button, top right, that instantly closes Settings and returns to your Home Screen — Apple built this for people who may need to hide what they were doing (Apple Support). Changes already made are saved.
Safety Check can’t touch non-Apple accounts, social media, or devices signed into a different Apple Account, and Screen Time or a management profile can grey out some options (Apple Support).
Check who’s signed into your Apple Account
An unrecognized device here is a serious sign your account is compromised, though what someone else can see or control depends on which services are enabled.
- Go to Settings → [your name] and scroll down to the device list.
- Tap any device to see its model, serial number, and whether it’s trusted.
- If you don’t recognize it, tap Remove from Account (Apple Support).
You can also check this at account.apple.com — useful if you suspect the phone itself is compromised (Apple Support). An unrecognized device, an unfamiliar password change, or unexpected two-factor codes mean the account may be compromised: change your password, review trusted phone numbers, and check for quiet mail-forwarding rules (Apple Support).
Find My: who can see your location
Find My sharing is legitimate — and one of the most common ways a partner or ex keeps tabs on someone, once agreed to and never revisited.
- To see everyone you’re sharing with: open Find My → People, or go through Safety Check’s Manage Sharing & Access flow.
- To stop sharing with one person: Find My → People, tap their name, then Stop Sharing My Location. Stopping in one app stops it everywhere — Find My, Messages, and Maps (Apple Support).
- To stop sharing with everyone at once: Find My → Me, then turn off Share My Location (Apple Support).
Apple’s own pages don’t fully agree: one support article says the person won’t be notified (Apple Support), while its personal-safety guide says they may notice and, on earlier software, may see a notification in Messages (Apple Support). Don’t assume silence — weigh this against your safety plan.
Family Sharing complicates things. Members automatically show up in your Find My People tab, though sharing doesn’t start until both sides turn it on (Apple Support). Check your group at Settings → [your name] → Family. Anyone over 13 can leave at any time, and only the organizer can remove other adults; a child under 13 can’t simply be removed, but the organizer can transfer them to a different family group (Apple Support). If the organizer is the person you’re trying to get distance from, that matters — Apple documents that they keep access to shared photo albums, calendars, and Screen Time activity regardless of what you turn off on your own device (Apple Support).
Stolen Device Protection
This targets physical theft, not remote monitoring, but matters if someone who has your passcode also has your phone in hand. When on, it requires Face ID or Touch ID — no passcode fallback — for actions like viewing saved passwords, and adds a one-hour Security Delay, away from familiar places, before changing your Apple Account password, signing out, updating account security, changing Face ID/Touch ID or passcode, Reset All Settings, enrolling in device management, or turning the feature off. Find My can’t be turned off at all while it’s on (Apple Support).
Turning it on requires two-factor authentication, a passcode, Face ID or Touch ID, and Find My already set up. Enable it at Settings → Face ID & Passcode → Stolen Device Protection, and set it to Always require the delay, even at home, if home isn’t fully safe (Apple Support).
Lockdown Mode: what it is and isn’t for
Lockdown Mode comes up a lot in tracking-related searches, so it’s worth being precise. It’s an extreme, opt-in protection against sophisticated, targeted mercenary spyware — aimed at journalists, activists, or dignitaries — not a tool for everyday stalkerware or a controlling partner (Apple Support). Apple says most people are never targeted by attacks like this, and turning it on changes daily use: most message attachments are blocked, complex websites may misbehave, FaceTime is blocked from anyone you haven’t called recently, and shared photo albums stop working (Apple Support).
If a partner or family member with physical access or shared passwords is the concern, Safety Check, the device list, and Find My will do more for you. Lockdown Mode lives at Settings → Privacy & Security → Lockdown Mode.
App permissions, one more time
Safety Check’s Manage Sharing & Access screen covers a defined list of app permissions, so it’s worth a second pass through Settings → Privacy & Security directly. Our guide on what app permissions actually mean covers which ones are worth worrying about.
None of this — Safety Check, the device list, Find My, Stolen Device Protection — tells you whether stalkerware is installed on the phone, covered in what a scan can and can’t tell you. Account access and on-device software are separate problems; check both.